Y is for young women

Despite common misconceptions, bladder problems DO happen to people of a young age.

I am 26 years old and was diagnosed with Fowlers Syndrome when I was 16. As you can imagine at this age, it was hard coping with invasive procedures and examinations. Not only that, but learning to live life with my new little accessory meant, for the time being, tight dresses and bikinis were a no-go. I mean, who wants a bulging bag of wee poking out of their new body-con skirt right? Hindsight is a beautiful thing, as looking back, I am so glad that Instagram was not a thing back then because, like most 16-year-olds, I was already struggling with body confidence and feeling comfortable in my own skin topped off by the pressures us women put ourselves under to look like our own ‘ideal’. I find it hard to imagine what this would have been like if I felt conditioned to look like some Instagram models these days.

Speaking as 26-year-old woman now, I still feel the pressures to conform – I like to think that 90% of the time, I am quite good at rationalising these stresses in my mind, but I know for a fact that at the age of 16, this was not my forte.

One thing I found really difficult in the beginning was finding the appropriate person to sound things out to. Granted, I am very lucky to have an abundance of family and friends to turn to but I guess it was the difference between sympathy and empathy for me - none of them had lost the ability to wee, none of them had to self-catheterise, none of them frequently visited their local A and E or relied on district nurses weekly. Although they tried to understand and offer support, this new way of life felt very lonely. On many a hospital visit, I was introduced to women with bladder conditions (rarely Fowlers related) but all were nearly above the age of 70. As lovely as these ladies were, always on hand with a listening ear and a cup of tea, it made it that little bit more isolating and harder for me to relate to. 

As a young girl, dealing with a loss of dignity became huge for me. My private area became less private, as to begin with, when self-catharising, my new best pal was a pocket mirror and a tube of lube. Realistically, who wants to look at their own bits up to 10 times a day, every time they need to go for a wee? Not me! Traumatising is not the word!

Y is for young women – it’s hard being a young woman in general but being a young woman with any chronic illness requires resilience, courage and a whole lot of…‘Zero f**ks given.’

Written November 2019